Step It Up Ontario - End Violence Against Women

Although we recognize that men can be victims of sexual violence and in certain cases women can perpetrate sexual violence, there is a clear gender difference when it comes to who is most likely to rape and who is most likely to be raped.  85% of victims of sexual violence are girls and women, and 98% of sex offenders are men. (Statistics Canada, “Sex offenders,” Juristat (March 1999, pg.1) 

“Why is this?” We must examine the root cause of sexual violence to understand why it’s most often men who rape women.

The fact is in any society every individual is socialized to acquire the habits, beliefs, and knowledge of their society.  Socialization occurs in the institutions of society such as schools, community, home and media.  We learn very early on in our lives that certain behaviours and roles are expected from men and women.  Women are to be attractive, nurturing, and submissive.  Men are to be strong, dominant, and invulnerable.  For men, being tough, unemotional, inexpressive and having to prove oneself though aggression can easily spill into violent behaviour against women.  For women, being passive and dependent, economically and emotionally, contribute to their vulnerability to assault.

Violence against women and rape and sexual harassment in particular, can be seen as the outgrowth of patriarchal social constructs that define the relationship between women and men as one of subordination and domination.  This historically created gender hierarchy of males over females functions as if it were natural.  Patriarchy becomes a moral system in which power or control over is the central value not only in male-female relationships but throughout the social and natural order. (See K. Bloomquist, Sexual Violence: Patriarchy’s Offense and Defense in J. Brown and C. Bohn, (1990) Christianity, Partriarchy and Abuse: A Feminist Critique, p.62.  Sexual violence is an abuse of power which both mirrors and perpetuates women’s societal inequality. (See Terms of Reference and Principles: Program Manual for Ontario Community Sexual Assault/Rape Crisis Centres. Ontario Ministry of the Solicitor General.)  

Women’s inequality is clear in many areas of their lives including in high rates of poverty, lack of employment, pay equity, access to childcare and more.  It is most obvious when it comes to how many women are raped, beaten and harassed by men.  This is true for all groups of women regardless of income, cultural background, sexual orientation, ability and other differences, but some groups of women are more vulnerable than others. 

A woman’s position in society – her religion, age or race -- directly affects her emotional, financial or physical well-being – and her safety from harm.  Violence crosses all boundaries, but women and girls from marginalized communities are more vulnerable: risk increases if you are an undocumented worker, a sex trade worker, an incarcerated woman, elderly or very young, non-heterosexual, poor, or a woman of colour.  Eight in ten Aboriginal women in Ontario, for example, report having personally experienced violence; and women with disabilities are at least one-and-a-half to two times more likely than non-disabled women to experience abuse.

Societal attitudes about class, race and what is considered appropriate female behaviour are reflected in rhetoric that defines who is a “deserved” victim.  The violence and isolation that newcomers or Aboriginal women face, for example, is too often stereotyped as a "cultural" or "religious" issue and left unaddressed.

Despite the fact that marginalized women are at an increased risk of experiencing violence, they have decreased opportunities to access help.  Newcomer women have difficulties accessing culturally and linguistically appropriate services.  Deaf women and women with disabilities do not have full access to services (such as shelters) or cannot participate in helping services due to lack of supports (such as interpreters, interveners and attendants).  

All women whether they have experienced rape or not, live with the fear of rape.  This fear affects the lives of women, and actual experiences of sexual abuse, sexual assault or sexual harassment affect their lives even more. When women are scared, depressed, injured, dealing with low self-esteem, losing sleep due to nightmares and flashbacks, and experiencing a number of other life-changing effects of violence, they are not able to participate in society to the same degree that men do.  This is one way in which rape and sexual harassment upholds male power.

Here are some specific examples of how different forms of sexual violence uphold male power.

• A male boss who sexually harasses his female employee, including domestic worker or nanny, and whose behaviour goes unchallenged successfully poisons her work environment. This compromises her safety and has many negative effects on her health, ability to work and chances at promotion or sponsorship.  Sometimes men who sexually harass women in the workplace or the privacy of their homes, go so far as to murder them (for example: Theresa Vince, Lori Dupont).  This upholds male power because sexual harassment is one way of “keeping women down” or to use the language of some abusers “putting her in her place”.

• A girl who is sexually abused by her father, uncle, brother or religious leader, learns that he is “the boss” and that she cannot have her own personal boundaries, nor can she make choices about her own body.  She is brought up to believe that her body is “there for the taking” by men.  This reinforces men’s power over her.

• A 17 year old woman who has survived sexual abuse as a child and spent some years in the custody of the Children’s Aid Society meets a man who treats her very well.  He buys her gifts and tells her that he loves her and she feels accepted for the first time in her life.  Often he insists that they have sex even when she doesn’t want to, and then he starts demanding that she also have sex with his friends.  She is afraid to lose her boyfriend who claims to love her and so she goes along with it, even though she doesn’t want to.  She doesn’t know that he is actually “pimping” her out to these other men and accepting money from them when he provides access to her.  She does not know how to escape this sexual exploitation, or even to name it as sexual assault.

• A woman who is a newcomer to Canada, and is sponsored by her husband finds that he is becoming more controlling and wants to know where she is at all times.  He won’t let her work or go to school and he is suspicious of any connections she makes in the community. He insults her regularly and insists on having sex even when she doesn’t want to.  He threatens her by telling her that she will be deported if she leaves him. She does not have knowledge about the Immigration System and doesn’t have access to accurate information.  She knows that what he is doing is wrong but she is scared, feels shame, doesn’t speak English, doesn’t have any friends or family here and therefore doesn’t feel like she has any choice but to endure the abuse.  His abusive actions and his decision to sexually assault her regularly are tactics that serve to keep her isolated and under his power and control.

• A woman with an intellectual/developmental disability is sexually assaulted by a male with a similar disability as they both work in a sheltered workshop. Authorities do not take it seriously as they are both "retarded". It is seen as harmless as he is like a “big kid” and she has a “crush” on him.

Finally, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy's stick. As Marilyn Frye has argued, while men are harmed by patriarchy, women are oppressed by it. (See B. Deutsch The Male Privilege Checklist: An Unabashed Imitation of an Article by Peggy McIntosh)

When feminists argue that men rape women because they can get away with it, we are describing some of the workings of patriarchy, a system of male control over women, a system of male privilege.   When men talk about male privilege, they need to talk about privilege from the perspective of the ‘other’. From within male reality the term "male privilege" has no meaning—it’s invisible; it's just ‘the way things are’. How does a fish talk about water? This famous conundrum applies to white men talking to other men about their privilege. (See Bathrick D. and Kaufman G., Male Violence and Male Privilege.)  One example of being “accountable for your privilege” is how many white people who want to fight racism, start by acknowledging their white privilege.  This means noticing all the ways that racism creates barriers for people of colour—barriers that white people don’t have to consider in their lives because they don’t experience racism.  When more people start looking at their privilege and being accountable for it, members of oppressed groups become more willing to trust them and work with them.  This brings us closer together in creating a world that is free from oppression, discrimination and violence.

How men can help.

• Don’t rape.  This may sound overly simple or even insulting, but not raping means getting consent each and every time.  Take a second to ask.  Listen to the answer.

• If you are a man who experiences ableism, racism, classism or any other form of oppression, this may help you better understand women’s experiences of oppression and violence.  Work on being aware and accountable for the way male privilege plays out for you, while also being aware of how systemic forms of oppressions have influenced your life.  Become an ally and work alongside others who are seeking to end all forms of oppression and violence.

• Challenge sexist jokes and comments that you hear from other men!  Sexist comments might sound like a small thing compared to rape but support and create the attitude that women are “less than” men.  When men are able to dehumanize women, see them as objects or as people who exist to “serve men,” they are more likely to think that it’s OK to rape a woman.  The more men challenge sexism on all levels, the sooner we will create a society where rape is simply not tolerated.

• Practice recognizing and interrupting sexual harassment at work, on the streets and every other place it is happening in your community.

• Call your MPP and ask what the provincial government is doing to end violence against women and tell them that you support the “Step it Up” campaign.

• Do you have a son or other young men in your life?  Teach them that pressuring a date to have sex, and other forms of violence are unacceptable.

• Donate money to front-line support services for women who experience rape and other forms of violence.  Your local rape crisis centre, shelter or neighbourhood women’s centre always needs financial support because there is a great demand for services and not enough funding.

• Respect women-only space.  Many rape crisis centres and shelters are “women-only space”.  These spaces allow women who have been abused by men to experience more safety than they would if there were men around.  This is important when a woman is trying to escape abuse or heal from rape.  Rather than giving in to the typical defensive reaction that most men feel when told that they are not allowed somewhere, take a moment (or longer) to reflect about why women-only space is important.  Many community events (such as Take Back the Night or December 6 vigils) are also women-only space, or men are welcome to participate in a way that backs up and supports the women.  Ask the women who work in these centres and organize these events what you can do to support the valuable work they are doing.

• Listen to women, believe them and support them!  You can learn a lot about how to support women just by listening to what they’ve been through.  If a woman in your life chooses to tell you her experiences of violence, it may be hard to hear about the horrible things that have been done to this woman that you care about.  It may be even harder to hear if the abuser is someone you know and care about.  Just remember that it is extremely rare that a woman lies about being raped or abused.  You may be the first and only person she has told about her experience of violence, so it is very important to listen, believe and let her make the choices about how she wants to survive and heal.

• There are many other ways for men to help.  The most important thing to remember is that women must be the ones taking leadership in ending male violence against women, since we are the ones who are deeply affected.  Seek out the women who have been working to end violence against women in your community and brainstorm with them about how you can get involved.

Some facts:

• Half of Canadian women have survived at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. (Statistics Canada, “The Violence Against Women Survey,” The Daily, November 18, 1993)

• Sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes. According to the GSS, fewer than 10% of sexual assaults in both survey years were reported to the police. Police statistics show a decline in sexual assault rates, which was most dramatic in the early 1990s. However, it is difficult to know to what extent this is affected by changes in victims' reporting behaviour over time. (The Daily, Statistics Canada, October 2, 2006)

• Victims' decisions to report the violence to criminal justice and social services depend on a variety of factors, some of which include fear of the offender, shame and embarrassment, and regional availability of services.

• The majority of victims of spousal assault and over 90% of sexual assault victims did not seek support from the criminal justice system. (The Daily, Statistics Canada, October 2, 2006)

• Sexual assaults often occur in contexts in which the abuser is in a position of trust in relation to the person assaulted, such as a husband, father, other relative, doctor, coach, spiritual advisor, teacher, friend, employer, or date. The majority of sexual assaults are committed by a man known to the victim who is likely to use verbal pressure, tricks and/or threats during an assault. (Ontario Women’s Directorate, “Dispelling the Myths about Sexual Assault”, 1998)  

• Two-thirds of sexual assaults occur in a private home. (Statistics Canada, “Sex offenders,” 1999)

• Girl children are targets of abuse within the family more so than are boys. Four out of five victims of family-related sexual assaults (79%) are girls, and over half (55%) of physical assaults of children by family members are against girls. In 1997, fathers accounted for 97% of sexual assaults and 71% of physical assaults of children by parents. (Statistics Canada, Family Violence in Canada, 1999, p.6)

• In addition to racist violence, women who are of minority racial, ethno cultural or linguistic groups also suffer violence at the hands of their intimate partners. However their access to the justice system and to services is not the same. Only 57% of Canadian shelters offered services that were sensitive to cultural differences. (Trainor, 1999) Women who have difficulty speaking the official language where they live face enormous barriers in accessing services and dealing with the justice system. When services and the justice system fail, women find it even more difficult to escape abuse. (Canadian Research Institute for the Advancement of Women, Violence Against Women and Girls factsheet, updated 2002)

• A Canadian study of sex offenders reveals that overwhelmingly they represent the average male. The vast majority of men who assault are white (71.9%) and Canadian born (63%). (Sexual Assault: The Reality, Ontario Women’s Directorate Fact Sheet. 1992)

• 89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries. (Statistics Canada, Violence Against Women Survey. 1993)

• 83% of Canadian women fear walking to their cars in a public garage after dark alone. 75% fear waiting for/using public transportation. 60% fear walking alone in their own area. 39% fear being at home alone. (Statistics Canada, Violence Against women Survey. 1993)

• 80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused. (Metro Action Committee on Public Violence Against Women and Children (METRAC), Sexual Assault Fact Sheet. Toronto: METRAC, 1992). Rates of sexual assault and other violent crimes are higher on reserves than in other areas of Canada.  (The Daily, Statistics Canada, October 2, 2006)

• People with disabilities are 150% more likely to be sexually abused or assaulted, than people without disabilities. (Dick Sobsey, "Sexual Offenses and Disabled Victims: Research and Practical Implications", A National Newsletter on Family Violence, Vol. 6, No. 4, Winter 1988)

• Rates of sexual assault experienced by young Canadian women, age 18 to 24, are over three times the national average. (Statistics Canada, Violence Against Women Survey, 1993)

More resources:

Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres www.ocrcc.ca

Action Ontarienne contre la violence faites aux femmes http://francofemmes.org/aocvf

Canadian Research Institute for the Advancement of Women www.criaw-icref.ca. Check for CRIAW’s factsheet on violence against women and girls.

Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres www.casac.ca

Coalition Against Trafficking in Women www.catwinternational.org